Thomas Kinkade
Guide to entering Carolyn's Thomas Kinkade Fan Club:
1) Go to kitchen
2) Locate meat cleaver
3) Locate red Sharpie
4) Draw bullseye on forehead
5) Ram meat cleaver into forehead
6) Repeat
I don't understand people who like Thomas Kinkade. He's such a shitty painter, and all of those little cottages and crosses and stuff are fucking cheesy. According to his own statistics, over 10% of households in the United States have a Kinkade painting. Headline: "1 out of 10 Americans Has Horrible Taste"
Now, as an alumna of Saint Andrew's School, I was appalled to learn that Thomas Kinkade painted a picture of the school before it was torn down for its makeover. Sure, I'd love to remember the way Saint Andrew's was when I attended it, but I don't want to become nauseated whenever I look at the painting.
And I hate how he uses that fake canvas shit that is made to look like an original. Dude, if there's one thing worse than owning a Thomas Kinkade print, it's owning an original, so why would you want people to even think that you own an original? Perhaps I am just an art snob, but there's just something wrong about an artist having galleries in multiple shopping malls (Santana Row and similar places are exceptions).
Carolyn's (Least) Favorite Thomas Kinkade Paintings:
"A Holiday Gathering"
He obviously stole this one from the classic Coca-Cola Christmas commercials...
"Stairway to Paradise"
It would have been funny if he titled it "Stairway to Heaven", but whatever. It's still shit. Why don't we get to see "Paradise"?
"Twilight Cottage"
Just add dwarves and magic mushrooms
Comments
Is there some reason why you have targeted Thomas Kinkade. This is America and everyone has a right to their opinion and that includes you. But honestly, you would think this man ran over your dog the way you talk. He paints pictures. He doesn't get on television and shove his beliefs down your throat or put unwanted flyers on your car while you shop. He paints pictures. How much more docile can one man be? What ever bitterness you harbour, I pray you find your answer and your peace. Enjoy your freedom of speech.
Posted by: Tabatha | October 8, 2006 2:47 AM
What a great site this is! Kinkade: what, a HACK! HE SUCKS! How awful is he ? Let us count the ways. Actually you would think the better business bureau would stop this fraudulent charlatan from selling those completely rancid, fake paintings. The fools who buy this garbage actually think its worth something -that is until they try and resell it and are quickly disabused of the idea that this saccharine crap is even worth the cheap, fake printed, canvas its splotched (I won't even call it painting) on.
You are not an art snob. You clearly and eloquently state why this dreck nauseates you -as it would ANYONE with any kind of adult -however uninformed, idea of what art or painting is.
Posted by: The Shark | May 29, 2007 3:42 PM
And one more thing: Tabatha what ever gave you the notion that painting was or being a painter is, docile? I mean hello! Do us all a favor -Big Mike as in Michelangelo -open up an art book, Carravaggio....Titian! .....what about Rubens? -how about de Kooning! or Pollock!....Maybe you had better take an art appreciation 101 class- Carolyns anger is completely reasonable and, justifiable.
Painting is a fierce, desperate endeavor, done by desperate, talented people with no other recourse! With no other way to go on other than being camped out in front of a canvas, living like a savage! Painting is like mime -no orchestra, no words, no supporting cast: just one human being, a mark making implement, and something to do it on. The only thing quiet about it is, "the holy hush of ancient sacrifice"
Posted by: The Shark | May 29, 2007 4:24 PM